The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD is everlasting; do not forsake the works of Your hands.
I suppose 2010 would best be characterized as the year of hanging on.
It seems there was a daily struggle to hold on to the things I treasured.
I’ve been holding tightly to children who grow up too fast; to a way of life that is comfortable; to pursuing a dream that’s wrought with struggles outside my control; to a mom who is dearly loved, yet battling cancer. There are days when it has felt like I have been holding on to the last threads of sanity.
Post 40 is far too late in life to have an identity crisis. And yet, if 2010 was anything, it was about my crisis to hold on to me—the me I thought I was supposed to be.
It was tiring…exhausting…depleting.
2011 has to be the year of letting go—letting go of all that my hands have held too tightly—letting go to a God who has promised that He will accomplish all that concerns me.
This year, I’m letting go of …
My “wants” I have called needs.
My desire to “accomplish” something.
My self-imposed expectation to “be better” than I am.
My disappointments & hurts.
My search to find my “spot in the world.”
My obsession with Diet Coke…really, I have to let that go!
I am resolved to live with open hands before the LORD who I know loves me and will hold that which concerns me. Am I scared? Not really. I am well-acquainted with the LORD prying misplaced devotions from my hands—things I thought I had to clasp for fear that if I did not the seams of life would unravel. Yet I have found that in the unraveling, the LORD always stitches things back together most beautifully.
It reminds me of the first miracle Jesus performed. When the wedding host ran out of wine, he panicked. Jesus saved the day by turning ordinary water into the best wine of the day. I think I usually leave just a drop of wine in my goblet, fearing that when it is all gone there will be no more. I wonder how many empty-handed miracles I’ve missed by clinging to the metaphorical “last drop?” Oh what wisdom there is when we finally recognize that what we hold in our hands is rubbish compared to the treasure with that which God longs to replace it!
With this confidence I will learn to live with open hands.
“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him— these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit” 1 Corinthians 2:9-10.
How about you? Will this be another year of just barely holding on?