Yesterday I was more mistake-prone than usual. I overslept. I had an editing fail. I spoke some careless words. I forgot to pick up my boy at baseball…causing the hubs to miss a business dinner. I arrived home to a messy house filled with grumpiness. It was an epic fail day.
Instead of going from “strength to strength,” I seemed to be on one slow ride swirling around the drain of humanity.
Humans fail. It’s a reality we try so hard to avoid.
I don’t know why we are so reality-resistant about our humanity. Pride. Insecurity. Fear of others. Maybe the need to measure up gives us a false sense of security that we won’t be swallowed up…by other’s expectations or criticisms, or overlooked, or worst of all, found unworthy.
There are days when I think we’re all just trying too hard. Doing too many things to prove we’ve got what it takes.
There are days when the failures–be they big or small–are just reminders that I haven’t yet surrendered to humility. I haven’t yet embraced the virtue of being poor in spirit. No, the poor in spirit have nothing of their own accounting. They have reached into the depths of their performance pockets and pulled out nothing. They are desperately dependant on the riches of another. They’ve come to the end of themselves–and their own kingdom building–and have surrendered to One whose riches are not conditioned on their perfected accomplishments. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God” Matthew 5:3.
There are days when that has to be enough.
What will you need to surrender today in order to let it be enough for you?