Learning Contentment {The Closet, Life, and The Full-Length Mirror of Love}

If a picture paints a thousand words, then my closet has been writing the novel of my life.

Memories draped crookedly on hangers. Holiday sizes and styles. Favorites pushing their way to the front.  Regrets intentionally shoved to the back. Sometimes life hangs waiting in out-of-the-way places no one sees. 

If only I could squeeze myself back into those jeans that held my babies on their faded knees. And soaked up tears. That stopped the smear of the peanut buttery smiles. Oh the long, exhilarating, exhausting, joyful, why-did-they-pass-so-quickly days those jeans have seen.

Tossed and jumbled, the shoe basket sits like a GPS recorder of all the steps I’ve taken. Some forward. Too many backwards. Over-priced stilettos beg for a day out of their box, but all I hear is buyer’s regret. Those shoes would never get me where I want to go.

There are depths in this place I can’t reach. Or so I believe. I don’t even really know what is living in my closet. It could be the dispatch center for all the monsters of childhood nightmares, for all I know. I don’t have time for dragging everything out, lining them up. Who parades their skeletons out when they seem so sleepily peaceful? Let well enough alone, I tell myself.

So yesterday I find myself staring at this picture of my life. It began with the well-intentioned thought of tidying it up a bit. Instead, I sat staring. Overwhelmed. Feeling full and hungry in equal amounts. Filled full up, stuffed, not able to take another bite of all this shoving stuff in and trying to make it all fit. Yet, hungry, desperately ready to consume a meal of simplicity, order, and purposefulness.  Voraciously hungry for this picture to be different.

Discontentadjective: Not pleased or satisfied.  If Webster needs a picture for the definition, he can use my closet. I am so not pleased and satisfied with what is taking up space in my closet. Taking up space in life.

My heart is equally cluttered and confused.

So I turn the page of this novel my closet has been writing and see a new chapter title: Creating Space.

Yep, it’s time to drag it all out. Say quick goodbyes. Get over the expectations of “maybe someday.” It’s a day for making space for what is to grow, and flourish, and take deep breaths and say, “It’s okay that not every nook and cranny is filled to unappreciated overflowing.”

It’s time for my closet, and my heart, to treasure the secret of contentment. Jesus loves me just the way I am—size 6 jeans {size 4 is overrated}, camouflaged Converse, and rolled up sleeves.  I don’t have to hold onto the garments of what used to be. He will clothe me in the splendor of what He know will be. I can stand in the full-length mirror of His love and breathe.  Just breathe deeply, contentedly–equal parts filled with His love and hungry for more. 

In any and every circumstance I {am learning} the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need” Philippians 4:12.

2 thoughts on “Learning Contentment {The Closet, Life, and The Full-Length Mirror of Love}

  1. This line particularly hit me, “Yep, it’s time to drag it all out. Say quick goodbyes. Get over the expectations of “maybe someday.” I can think of that within my own physical closet, but I can also place this within my heart. Thanks for sharing your insights. I think I will do some cleaning out in both places!

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