No Filter Friday {Groupon, Cricket Sandwiches, Wounded Masculinity, Prozac and Politics}

*Note: Read to the end. There are bonus points to be given away in the last paragraph. 

Oh to read another’s thought bubble. Well, each and every Friday is your lucky, filter-free day! 

What’s the deal with Groupon? Why do you love it so? Everyone told me I needed to subscribe, describing all these amazing offers to spa services, fine dining, and do-this-and-feel-like-the-queen-you-wish-you-were know-you-are. I don’t know how Groupon does their marketing, but I can assure you that they have failed with me. In the last week, I have received offers for a colon cleanse {Um, no. Um, ewww.}, circus school {Yeah, I can see myself juggling bowling pins.}, and a discount on a Shamballa bracelet {What part of my profile would make you think I’d be interested in Buddhist paraphernalia?}. Fail, Groupon, Fail.

I wasn’t going to say anything…however,it’s Friday, so I must speak what is on my mind. Chik Fil A has changed their positionyou know the one that created the whole brouhaha.  Are they serving cricket sandwiches now? It just got so quiet. I really hope everyone who stood in line for hours really did so for the cause of free speech {which I affirm…I only care deeply about the manner in which we exercise our right to it}. Otherwise, well, that chicken sandwich must be causing some delayed heartburn. {Yeah, I probably should have stuck with not saying anything.}  So Chik Fil A will open its doors in Chicago. Any word out there on what the Church is doing to open its doors to the gay and lesbian community? “As you’ve done it unto the least of these…” Well, you know how the rest of that goes…and I don’t think I can be convinced that this community is not the least of these who find themselves today most often in the thin margins of the Church’s compassion, mercy, and love. Okay, now before you get all tiffy…I’m speaking to myself most of all. I can and should be doing more.

Yesterday someone found my blog through a Google search of elevating your wounded masculinity.’ It would appear that Google, like my GPS is so fond of doing, has directed you into a lake. Mr. ‘Elevating Your Wounded Masculinity’ Man, if you are still here–that wound doesn’t need elevating, it needs healing. Stat. Any wound–masculine or feminine–needs eradication. Jesus is just the one to help with that. I’d Google up Jesus; He can help.

Dog #4 went on Prozac this week. Go ahead, laugh. I know. I know. I know.

Yeah, the one there on the left. This is her before Prozac. Hmmm…well, the after picture looks pretty much the same, but the vet has promised me it will help.

Boy Two has had assignments this week for his political science class that have involved talking to me about politics. {Oh my gosh, I’d rather have him ask me what is in the pink box down the aisle at the market that we avoided for most of his childhood.} You know, when you try to explain the whole complicated mess we’ve worked ourselves into to someone who in their innocence is looking for the logic of it all, it is then, and only then, that you begin to realize how incredibly screwed up we are. The last time I saw his eyes get that glazed was when I tried to explain to him ways to better organize his bedroom. I tried. Really, I did. But in the end, I realized I had gone where no sane woman dares to go. Honey, why don’t you ask your dad. I’m sorry, sweet boy, your momma gets easily overwhelmed by these things. I am but a fragile woman with a weak constitution. , let’s not use that word, umm….a weak platform, no, no, not that word either. Hmmm, okay. I’m just weak. I can’t make sense of it. Pray for me, please. I beg of you, pray for me! Never mind, forget me. Pray for our country. Pray for the Church that she will provide clarity of the Jesus way in the midst of all the spin and chaos. Yes, pray. Maybe I need the Prozac…at least until November.

I’ve spent the week sick. Pretty much down flat in bed–achey, feverish, and my body looks like it fell down the stairs. It’s a bummer. Sometimes this whole autoimmune issue feels like I’m trying to run away from my own shadow. I want to be mad about it, but I can’t. You know why? Because it gives me all kinds of time to listen to music. This week, I put the Lumineers on loop and said, “Ho, hey, this ain’t so bad.”

This weekend Percy Basset and I will be at an AKC dog show trying to finish his championship. Calm down. No, I won’t be the one running around the show ring–that must be left to the professionals. {I did it once. Tripped. Stepped out of my shoe. True story.} Instead, I stand on the outside of the ring and ride my butterflies and chew my nails and cross my fingers hoping that my dog will get the nod of the judge and she will say, “You are the best in show.”

Tomorrow is the last day of summer. So riddle me this, Batman: Why does the forecast for Saturday say it will be 98 degrees?  Not acceptable, Autumn. Not acceptable.

I told my dear speak-freely-love-me-love-my-candor friend that she needed to guest post this blog today. She texted me saying, “Compile my txt messages, I have NO time to sit in front of comp and bang away! Seriously, I’ve got every second of my life scheduled to the hilt. I feel like a headless chicken.” You know, I’ve been hearing so much of that lately…the part about every second scheduled to the hilt. Ah friends, slow down. Don’t let hurry preempt your peace. It’s political season, we don’t need anymore headless chickens. Pray for the headless chickens…each and every one of them.

I hope you walk freely this weekend–with more than just your words. Kick off those shoes that stuff you in and hold you back. Dance barefoot, being all you can be! Gangnam Style if you like. {This is my favorite version.} And since we’re on the subject and I don’t have the filter to stop myself: El Monte City Council, give those lifeguards their jobs back. Couldn’t they just swim laps after the toddler lessons or clean the bathrooms with a toothbrush as punishment? Oh well, what’s another dozen unemployed Californians in the big scheme of things?

One last thing: I need to bring a dessert to my community group tonight. I’m stuck…no idea what to make. What should I bring? What’s your favorite? Don’t you dare leave this sight without leaving a suggestion. I know how many people visit here {we bloggers have stats, you know, and we look at them, because we can’t help ourselves}…and I know how few of you leave a comment. Come on, just once, help out a girl. I’ll even give a bonus point to the commenters who include a favorite recipe. Be anonymous or even a headless chicken if you like, but leave a comment. Yeesh.

17 thoughts on “No Filter Friday {Groupon, Cricket Sandwiches, Wounded Masculinity, Prozac and Politics}

  1. Well my first thought since you been sick all week was some Sunshine in a Jar:

    Or with fall just around the corner how about some Carmel Stuffed Apple Cider Cookies:

    But then my conscious reminded me that “Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels” so I found you some low calorie recipes…LOL

    Or some Skinny Chunky Monkey cookies (Only 50 calories each)

    Coconut Cake on 66 Calories a Slice:

      • Jaylene, I’m actually a big fan of typos…they remind us we’re human. Seriously, I’m such a bad editor of my writing, so I have mucho grace for any and all typos.
        Thank you for the recipes! I may have to roll dice to choose which one…they all sound wonderful. But come on, low carb coconut cake. Are you kidding me? I’m all over that! Have a beautiful Friday!

    • There is no shame in root beer floats! Glad you are taking credit for such a great idea. {How’s the packing going? You deserve a root beer float night too.}

  2. Rice Krispie Treat everyone loves them and they are so easy. If you want to change them up use Coco Krispie for chocolate ones. I make Rocky Road ones, use Coco Krispies and then after mixing the Krispies in to the melted marshmallow and butter mixture I mix in chunks of chocolate, mini marshmallows, and almonds.

    • Rocky Road Krispie treats…yummy! You always have the best baking ideas. When are you releasing your cookbook? At the least, start a blog. You really shouldn’t be keeping all your yummy goodness to yourself. 🙂

  3. I vote dessert buffet, mostly all great ideas, especially love rootbeer floats, so easy, so amazingly yummy, make them all, plus more of that molasses cake, can’t get that cake out of my thoughts! Oh, and I love no filter Friday!

  4. I’ll do better than that. I’ll leave you a recipe. These are the best cookies I’ve ever baked. She’s not listening so I can say this about them: “they’re better than grandma used to make.” P.S. I’ve been scouring the net for a wounded masculinity coupon. One of my friends at church had his masculinity wounded by some things his wife said. Can you email me that coupon?
    1/2 cup butter flavored Crisco
    1/2 cup Parkay margarine
    2 cup light brown sugar
    2 extra large eggs
    1 1/2 cup plain flour
    2 tsp. cinnamon
    2 tsp. baking powder
    1 tsp. vanilla
    2 cup 1-Minute Quaker Oatmeal
    Cream margarine and shortening. Add sugar, mix well. Add eggs, and add mixed dry ingredients into creamed mixture. Stir in oats. Refrigerate until
    chilled. Place by rounded teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet – 2 inches apart. Bake 325 degrees for 10-15 minutes or until lightly browned, but not crisp. (12 – 14 minutes in my experience gives best results)
    (Let cookies cool slightly before removing from pan)
    1/2 stick Parkay margarine
    8oz. Philadelphia Cream Cheese
    2 cup powdred sugar
    1 tsp. vanilla
    Blend well and put between cooled cookies. (For softer cookies: store overnight in a closed contained with waxed paper separating layers)
    Good luck…any questions, feel free to ask.

    Great post. Loved reading it. Hope you’re feeling better today.

      • They are sinful. Seriously, I think there’s a scripture somewhere that warns against eating too many of them! :>) Thanks for the follow, Brenda. I look forward to reading more of your stuff as well. You have a well-healed sense of humor. Have a blessed day!

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