Kind-of a No-Filter Friday {Hot Dogs, Square Pegs for Round Holes, and Waiting on God}

Life has been very filtered of late. Even on Fridays. It seems there are days, even weeks, where if you don’t leave the filter on everything is going to fall out and you know you will never get it all put back in again. It has been a few weeks like that for me…

But this Friday–today–rolled around and it’s Dodger Baseball season again and that makes me all kinds of happy. Tonight I will be wearing blue, sitting in yellow seats, and eating calorie-free Dodger Dogs. {Please just let me hold onto the mistruth in that last sentence. Sometimes friends just need to let friends have their delusions and smile as they bury it in mustard and relish and onions.}

That calorie-free hot dog seems to be the only fantastical thinking the Lord seems to be letting me hold onto. Everything else in life is being confronted by bold and brutal truth. I know, I know, I know that this is a good thing, but it doesn’t feel that way. The byproduct of truth is a whole lot of messy confrontations with ugly realities.

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. Be all in…or get out of the way. Compromise, wishy-washy ways, and contradictions are slivers in my skin. But of late, Sovereignty is revealed in my life in less than sharp categories. Joy is present with disappointment. Contentment is finding a way to make nice with the not-yet-places in my life. There is satisfaction and ache. Storybooks of pleasure with lift-a-flaps of pain. Some things are lingering on that I just want over…finished. Other things are dead and as much as I wish they could be brought back…there are no signs of life.

If you have ever found yourself in a spot like this, you know you start questioning everything. Trust needs only a wiggle to gain gale-force momentum in its wavering. Back and forth I go. Trying to put everything in its place. But for now God seems to have given me square pegs for round holes and asked me to wait on him to do the impossible.

I’m okay with this. No, really, I am. I’ve been asking the Lord to show me what abiding in Him looks like and part of His teaching is that all this stuff I’m feeling isn’t reason for alarm. It’s just the fruit of His work. Clean, clear categories don’t always work, because all the while that God is killing off the old life, He is also watering and growing new life. Living in the vine is a dance of the dead giving up to its dying and life finding its way into living. Learning the steps are hard. For now I’ve got no rhythm. Big deal. In time.

That’s right…in time. There isn’t a rush. I mean really, why are we all in such a hurry? We’ve lost who we are in all the speeding to and fro trying to prove that we have important things to which to attend. It’s a lie–as big as my calorie-free hot dog. The important things aren’t in the hurry. God’s work takes time. Wait for it.

Speaking of waiting. Mad Men starts again this Sunday. Woo-hoo! How I have missed Peggy and Joan and yes, even Don.

Here are some links from around the web that spoke to me this week:

Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life

Small is Good

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