It’s Time for Change {Sexuality and the Church}

If you know me at all, then you know that nothing gets me good and fired up like the topic of sexuality. I think that God gives all of us a wall to watch, a place where we see things others don’t see–we see the beauty that needs to be guarded on the inside and the threats that are approaching from the outside. For me, my wall is sexuality. What it was created to be is so beautiful, but our reality is so broken. So I sit on this wall and some days I lament, other days I fume, but every day I war.

I find myself getting angry over this topic a lot. Just this morning I read how California’s Supreme Court ruled to allow convicted child molesters to frequent parks. What kind of stupidity is this?

See, I’m surrounded by causalities of this war fueled by the sex abuse mindset that our culture has embraced as normal. And because we aren’t doing the hard work of fighting it, there are more and more victims every day. Just so you know, most children view pornography for the first time when they are eight years old. When I was eight, I wasn’t allowed to watch the Love Boat because my dad said, “The men don’t see women the right way on that show.” Well, if that was true, imagine what kind of vision problem pornography is fueling.

I know, this is making you uncomfortable. If you’re even still reading, you’re probably wondering why I keep bringing it up. I’m doing it because we need to wake up from this idea that the brokenness in our understanding of sexuality is someone else’s problem. It is OUR problem and our children need to know this is important to us…they need to know THEY are important to us.

Today, Anne wrote:

Make a ruckus. Make your leaders talk about this.

We are in a fight. We frequently point blame to the media and to pornography and to sex as the enemy. These things, especially sex, are NOT the enemy. Sex is a beautiful thing that we’ve been given to express love to our spouse. The media and pornography are simply tools the enemy uses to break us down, to addict us, to cause us to carry shame instead of strength and hopelessness instead of hope.

Our enemy is Satan. Plain and simple.

(I really encourage you to go read her whole post. Please.)

Make a ruckus. Yes. That is what we need–ruckus makers. Our silence on this matter is deadly. We have to start talking about it. Loudly. Too many have been wounded; we need more warriors. Now.

The next generation needs us to reclaim and revitalize the broken down walls of our sexuality and restore them to the beauty, goodness, and truth of the Kingdom. The work can’t wait. It needs to begin today. It’s rally time.

This conversation isn’t just about sex. Yes, that’s what our culture has made it. But we need to claim it back. The conversation needs to be deeper and wider. It needs to be about robust definitions of men and women that lead to wholeness and holiness. It needs to be about addressing intimacy and belonging needs. It needs to be about addressing loneliness in a way that makes the sex abuse mindset irrelevant and ugly. It needs to be about us understanding Jesus correctly and then mirroring his advocacy with tenacity, strength, and grace in one another’s lives.

Maybe you’re afraid. I am too. But I’m more afraid that we will do nothing than that we will do the wrong thing. Let’s not cover our eyes and pretend the whole thing away. I agree with Anne. Talk to your leaders. Ask them why they are silent. Get educated. (This is why I’m teaching the parenting class on sexual wholeness. Anne has a great list of resources…check them out and gather your tribe.) Talk to your children. Seriously, get the conversation rolling. Pray–fervently.

Will you please do the hard work of climbing up that ladder of discomfort and fear to join me on the wall?  It’s not a rhetorical question. I’m really asking: Will you join me in this? Those on the inside need us. Those on the outside need to know the closer they get, the uglier it’s going to get because we have something beautiful for which we are fighting. For the King and His kingdom!

I will leave you with a Marva Dawn quote: “What liars we are if we see something that should be changed, but don’t really want God to work in us to change it.” 

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